Embrace your Vulnerable Side

In today’s fast-moving world, where everything looks like a contest we must win to survive, we rarely pause to look within ourselves. Are we truly fulfilled? Or are we just racing with a hope that someday we will find our destination — “happiness”? And that poses the next question: Can one be truly happy without being fulfilled?

In this writing, I aim to touch upon what fulfilment means to me and where it comes from. Fulfilment resides in being whole, in being grounded, in acceptance. And this brings us to the core of the matter — vulnerability.

Dr. Brene Brown, a research professor and author who has spent a decade studying shame, vulnerability, and courage, defines vulnerability simply as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. Sounds uncomfortable and scary, doesn’t it?

Vulnerability is showing up when the outcome is uncertain. Vulnerability is when you don’t let the fear of unknown get the better of you. It is getting down to the bare bones of being human, being in touch with your true emotions.

Vulnerability means different to different people. Here are some examples:

• Failing at something 3 times and still not giving up.
• Standing up for yourself amid criticism
• Reading fairy-tales and happily ever after stories to your daughter while you beat cancer
• Coming out clean about your mistakes and lies
• Chasing your passion/ dream career with nobody by your side
• Getting laid off, firing people

We see vulnerability as a weakness because it brings up the most uncomfortable emotions in us — fear, judgement, disappointment. And as humans, our first reaction to this is to do anything possible to numb these difficult emotions. We tell ourselves — “play safe”, “be careful or you might be hurt”, “give up now before anyone notices”. That is our survival instinct at play. What we fail to realize is that these very emotions are what makes us human. Even the unpleasant ones have a purpose.

“The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it…” ― Nicholas Sparks

Vulnerability is the birthplace of perseverance, courage, and inner peace. This is where true worthiness and confidence comes from. Humans are wired for connections and genuine connections happen when you are your true self. It is when you let people see through you. Not just your good side but your whole raw self — flaws and all. It takes darkness to be aware of light.

We think we can choose what emotions we allow in ourselves, but that is far from the truth. When we try to numb the uneasy emotions, we also end up pushing aside the pleasant ones. They are two sides of the same coin.

There is no success without the tolerance for a risk of failure., there is no acceptance without exposure, there is no connection without true openness and there is no wholeness without vulnerability. Contrast is what adds spice to human life.

The best example to explain this would be of a 5-year-old kid, who switches from crying to giggling within seconds. It is simple because, at that age, we are too naïve to learn any patterns and we just let ourselves be — without any fear. Childhood is the time we allow ourselves to feel the whole range of emotions without any filters and that is what brings true contentment and fulfilment.

Ever seen someone be happy with smallest of things in life while is there is so much going wrong and wondered what that is about? It is seeing the worst in life and therefore knowing the value of smallest pleasures, being able to enjoy those whole heartedly. It is showing up even when life throws curve balls at you. It is being vulnerable and owning your life with courage.

Imagine living your whole life without second-guessing yourself. Believing in yourself at each step. Not giving up on opportunities just because you are not sure if you can get through it. Not letting criticism put your morale down. Yes, it is easier said than done. But even the idea of being wholly yourself makes your heart smile. Try to be vulnerable each day and you will feel content.

The most independent and confident people are not those who don’t let emotions come their way. They are the ones who welcome every emotion in — good and bad and still show up. I leave you with these words by Brene Brown and wish you the most joyful moments ahead.

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy — the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”

― Brene Brown